Avery, his so-called close friend, has replaced my place in his life.

She is in every part of his life: His work, His time, His schedules. Even our dates.

It feels like there's little to no room left for me.

They both claimed it was nothing but friendship.

Until that family reunion, I caught them

There he was in bed. Sound asleep. With Avery wrapped around him like a koala bear. Also asleep.

I'm not sure how long I stand there looking at them. My mind is numb.

I slam the door with every bit of my strength.

A look of horror moves across the features of his face. A smirk moves across hers.

"What are you doing?" I screamed.

He frowned. "I understand that it looks bad but, Tallulah, she's my cousin. This is nothing more than two people who were watching a movie together and fell asleep."

Jax's last comment relegating their sleepover as nothing.

I'm done.

I'm done living in another woman's shadow.

It's over.

————————

The Fourth of July just begs for a celebration. And nobody does a party quite like Cecilia St. Alban. Or Cece as she's instructed me to address her because "all my friends call me that." Jax's mom has welcomed me into their world with open arms. It's been surprising and, at times, enlightening. I can't begin to say how many times I've thought, "So this is what an invested mom looks like."

Her love and affection for her family flows out of her like warm honey and she has included me in their circle with complete ease so I wasn't going to tell her no when she asked for my help. In fact, it made me feel good to be trusted enough to be a part of what's going on. Which probably explains why I'm on a ladder by the gazebo in their yard trying to reattach some fallen decor. I was just supposed to be helping with last minute details for her annual Independence Day cook out. Although, can you really call a catered event a cook out? If you can't, I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell her that.

My original job had been adding single wrapped cookies skillfully iced with Stars and Stripes to each table. However, when I spotted the patriotic bunting on the ground I set off to find someone to help fix it. Except everyone I came across had their hands full. Being a woman who basically raised myself, and not wanting to be a bother, I found a ladder and decided to do it by myself.

"Tally!"

Startled I gripped the ladder to steady myself. Thankfully, I had just gotten the bunting reattached when Jax yelled my name. Otherwise I would have dropped it and had to start all over again. Carefully, I ease my way step by step back down while trying to explain myself, "This had fallen and I was just taking care of it. It's no big deal."

"You shouldn't be doing this! You could fall!"

With my feet firmly planted back on the ground I look around and realize for the first time that Jax isn't alone. Standing beside him I see the girl from the pictures in his office. I was right. Everything I thought about her after seeing her in black and white is displayed in living color. She has blonde hair. Like corn silk. Straight, long, and flowing. She has brown eyes. Bringing to mind whiskey. She is curvy. Hips that appear made for a man's hands. Generous breasts that are showcased beautifully in a blouse that reeks expensive. She is tall. Probably 5'11 I would guess. Easily reaching above the shoulders of Jax's 6'4 frame in her platform espadrille wedges. Every inch of her from top to bottom screams polished, posh, and poised.

After wrestling with bunting in the hot Georgia sun I am suddenly very aware of the sweat dotting my face and running down my back. I hate myself for it. I really do. But I automatically begin to catalogue our differences. My red hair takes forever to straighten so I don't do it that often. My blue eyes... I can't find fault in them. They're the one feature I've always felt I had going for me. They're vivid. Aquamarine would probably be a more applicable color designation. I'm slim. With more subtle hips and a solid 30B chest size. I'm 5'4. Standing a foot shorter than Jax in my bare feet. Because I discarded my sandals before I climbed the ladder. Nothing about me is polished, posh, or poised in this moment.

She seems to be equally sizing me up. Looking me up and down with a blank expression so I get no sense of her perception of me. Jax puts his arm around her and pulls her forward.

"Tallulah, I want you to meet Avery. She's my cousin but that's not all. She's also my friend. And in a few weeks she will also be a co-worker. She never misses this party each year but Dad and I are thrilled that she'll soon be here for more than just visits. She's joining the marketing team of our company. She's been working in New York long enough. It's time for her to come home."

I reach out to shake her hand cringing that mine is damp.

"It's nice to meet you, Avery. I look forward to getting to know more of Jax's family and it sounds like we'll have the opportunity to do that soon once you move back."

She doesn't ignore my hand but she also doesn't say anything in response. Jax's phone rings so he excuses himself to answer it. Since Avery doesn't seem to want to talk I start folding the ladder so I can return it to where it belongs. Her eyes follow me for a few seconds and then she finally finds her words.

"St. Alban's don't do this sort of thing. They pay someone else to do it."

It's my turn to not respond. I don't stop what I'm doing but my mind is whirling. Is she saying I stepped out of line by fixing what had fallen? That my behavior was inappropriate? Was she insinuating I could never fit into this family because I'm the kind of person who does this sort of thing? Or was it just an observation that came across as rude but without the intention of being so?

Most importantly, why is my immediate perception of her that she's a threat to me in some way? That can't be accurate, right? Jax is a good man. He wouldn't hold her in high regard if she was malicious. My own dysfunctional background is probably causing me to have misplaced thoughts and feelings. She's a part of his family and they have been very kind to me. I just need to give us some time to become better acquainted.

It will be okay.

.....

Sometimes a week just needs to be over. This is one of them. Let me just say I could weep with joy that it's Friday.

It wasn't one specific thing. It was a never ending barrage of all kinds of things. Like the water leak that popped up under the kitchen sink while I was at work. Apparently, rather early in the day as it appeared to have been going on for quite awhile. I got home Monday evening to the discouraging mess in my apartment.

Everything just went down hill from there.

The atmosphere at the firm was tense because a major client was unhappy with the results of their lawsuit. They sued someone for patent infringement and it didn't go their way. Which was our fault, of course, because of our raging incompetence. According to them. I heard all about it as they loudly complained. Then heard more about it as my boss grumped about the situation and continuously took his bad mood out on me for days.

Wednesday I worked with a migraine. Yesterday I tripped on the stairs in the office. Bruising my elbow and my pride. Coffee and legal papers went flying. My cute blouse and a handful of contracts were baptized. Then there was the printing incident. I'm fully convinced the copier is a tool of the devil.

Jax and I are supposed to try a brand new Italian restaurant tonight and I've never needed a relaxing date night more in my life. This evening has felt like a light at the end of a dark tunnel all week long. I've told Daphne multiple times, "Jax. Me. Friday. I can't wait!"

So it's with great pleasure that I survived the past few days and am now standing in the bathroom of my apartment. Freshly showered. Little black dress steamed and ready to be worn. Doing my makeup.

Then my phone rings. It's my man.

"Hey, Jax! I'm almost ready! I'm so excited to enjoy some good food and spend some time with you."

After an awkward pause I hear, "I'm so sorry, Tally. I was looking forward to tonight as well. But I need to ask you a favor. Can we postpone our date?"

"Umm, why?"

"Well, you know, Avery just moved back a few weeks ago."

Yes, I did know that. I had spent a day with Jax, and several of their family members, helping her get settled in her new condo. At his request. He'd asked me to go with him and I was happy to help unpack. However, I don't think Avery was thrilled with my presence. She didn't say anything to me the whole time I was there. Not one word. Which I don't think anyone noticed because there were multiple people present and there was a lot going on.

But I was very aware. That's one of the results of my background. The details matter when every atmosphere has the potential to be unsafe. So... you notice. Everything. It's a skill that hasn't gone away.

I saw her interact with everyone there. Except me.

I never mentioned it to Jax. I don't even know what I would say. "Your cousin doesn't like me," feels kind of whiny. I was a little bit surprised, because he usually picks up on nuances in any given situation, but it doesn't appear as if he realized what took place. Some people just don't click and it is what it is. But she's not even trying with me. That's the thought that keeps hovering in my mind. Then I feel ridiculous because she's in the middle of some major life changes. From what I've heard from Jax she was in a very serious relationship that just ended. It's one of the reasons she wanted to relocate. She worked with her boyfriend so after their separation navigating a professional relationship had been very challenging for her. Which I can understand. Between a break up, a new job, and a long distance move she's got a lot going on. It will probably get better when things settle down.

I pull my wandering mind back into the conversation and catch Jax mid sentence.

"...it would mean a lot to her."

"I'm sorry, Jax. I didn't catch that."

"Avery is going through a lot right now. She asked if she could have an evening with me to decompress and process some things with a friend. You know I'm leaving tomorrow morning so I can get in on the Newport International Boat Show in Rhode Island then I'm heading to New York for some meetings so there's not a lot of space in my calendar. I love you, Tally, but I also want to be a good friend and family member. If you let me change our plans I'll make it up to you, I promise. I know Avery will appreciate it. It would mean a lot to her."

Everything in me is screaming, "But what about me? I've had a terrible week and I need you! You're leaving and I want to have time with you before you go!"

But that feels petty. My water leak is a very small thing compared to her broken heart. I don't want to give up my evening with Jax but it doesn't really feel as if I have a choice. Saying no would make me come across as uncaring and lacking compassion. What kind of evening would we have in the aftermath of that?

My chest clinches as I say, "Okay. Enjoy your time with Avery. I'll see you when you get back from your trip."

Slowly, I slide the little back dress back into my closet. Wash my face. Then put on my comfy leopard print pajamas. After sitting in complete silence for a few minutes I decide to call Daphne and extend an invitation for a movie night. She's surprised to hear from me but once I explain what went down she instantly agrees to come over. So I order some Chinese food for us to enjoy.

My sweet friend knew how much this evening meant to me so she gave me a long hug when she arrived. Between that and some egg rolls I'm feeling slightly more perky. Until I see Daphne glance at her phone then make a face. I'm nosy so I'm not letting that go.

"What's up with that look? What's going on?"

"Well, after you helped Avery move in then told me how she ignored you all day my curiosity was peaked. The whole vibe with her seems weird when it comes to you. It plucked at my investigative instincts. I started looking through social media to see if she has any accounts. She has several but seems to post most often on Instagram and Tik Tok. They're all open to the public so I've been keeping an eye on them to see what kind of content she puts out into the world."

That being said she pushes her phone towards me. And there they are. The latest update on Avery's Instagram account. Standing in front of the Italian restaurant I was supposed to enjoy with Jax after my week from hells. He has his arm around her and they both are so stunning it almost hurts to look at them.

The caption says, "A night with this man is good for the soul."

Well, she's not wrong. I've had plenty of nights with him so I can testify to the truth of her statement. But now I'm on the other side of that equation. I'm experiencing a night without him. My heart aches. I'm not even sure why. She's his cousin. This isn't a romance.

Why does this hurt so much?